So You Got Your New Balance Sneakers, Now What?

I often really have to wonder whether or not my strange, unwitting and sudden fashion predilections are a direct result of the sense of manipulation I probably feel upon desiring – or learning that I should desire – to function the same way, sartorially speaking, that the fashion designers heating my loans with their indispensably cool clothes and even cooler personal style do.

Some personal historical context: I had a pair of these in middle school but that was way less about looking cool and much more about feeling comfortable. In high school, I made contact with them again but if I’m going to get really honest about it, I only really wanted them because the boy I had a crush on – he went to a school on the South Shore of Long Island – wore them day in and out. I know, what the fuck, right?

But here’s the thing about my decision to indulge in them now. I am pretty sure if not blatantly positive that this is all Phoebe Philo’s fault. I know I’ve been alluding to it at nearly every opportunity that has presented itself since the initial purchase but when I look down at my feet and seriously, actually, for the first time in a long time feel “effortlessly cool,” I have to wonder where that’s coming from.

And furthermore, in fact, why the high-fashion labeled shoes of these designers don’t always do the same thing for me.

The New Balance sneakers are not cool. They are not universally trendy. They are the product of what Philo disseminates into our Cosmo, what Colette collects, chews up, swallows and regurgitates and finally, what I concede to wearing in a pithy effort to be a more hip person.

Maybe, too, it’s another nod to irony. I’ve heard myself say that I love them ironically at least ten times. I’ve had a hard time saying it if the sentiment isn’t tethered to the descriptive, conclusive adjective. Which, of course, means that they cannot and will not be worn with athletic clothes. In the slideshow above you’ll find three outfitting suggestions to answer the question that brought us here in the first place: so you’ve got your New Balance sneakers, now what? And finally, because it ain’t a Tuesday afternoon without a gif that follows an important musical note, I beg you all to…

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